I just finished...

...watching 'Make Bradford British' and I've got mixed feelings about the experience. It definitely had a purpose, perhaps you could say it was a socio-sophical (made that word up!) exercise. What I mean by that is, it posed a question "Can people from different 'segregated' communities integrate and live together side by side?" and sought to answer it. I can't help but feel that there was ultimately an agenda behind it as the program overall ended on a positive note, with lots of smiles and laughter and what seemed to be some genuine friendship but I'm under no illusions that this was a television show and not real day to day life. It seemed to come to the conclusion that is surely what informs our so-called modern, multi-cultural society and always has i.e. that we can integrate and live peacefully side by side despite the increase in anti-immigration, nationalistic and sometimes racist ideas.

There was one casualty, that of one of the Muslim participants storming out of the whole shindig after being asked the question "What if your daughter came home with a...?". The question itself didn't even get finished! It could have been "What if your daughter came home with a White Muslim?". It obviously wasn't going to be that though and unfortunately gave the impression of intolerance which no doubt the right-wingers and extremists will be jumping all over now but on reflection it was an emotional reaction to what was probably considered to be an invasive question. Is this indicative of the Muslim community and Asian community at large? Perhaps, but then again that question could be posed in a variety of different ways to a large variety of different people and result in similar pre-reflective reactions, "What if you son came home with a man?" or "What if your daughter came home with a bin-man?" etc.

My initial feelings were that this program was going to be sensationalist and the tv equivalent of half-baked tabloid journalism and in many ways it was. It was designed to be controversial and stir up emotions which it did successfully but I guess it's also stirred up debate which can never be a bad thing. It is only through debate that a clearer path forward towards more peace and respect and tolerance can be discovered but I've grown up believing and largely experiencing this society to be very peaceful and very respectful and very tolerant (at least in relation to many others) so a program like this didn't do much to change or challenge my idea about that, I'm not naive but I am idealistic. However, there obviously is real racism in this society(in all directions), there always has been and we're in a phase where we can't keep saying it's not a thing of the past, nor is it as easy as it once was to just sweep it under the carpet as we do with most things! One thing that I think might disarm the far-right, of whom we should be wary but not afraid, is to reclaim the British and English flags for all people who live here peacefully and contribute. They have unfortunately become symbols of the uninformed and thoroughly ignorant and nationalistic sentiment of the likes of the EDL, BNP, NF, etc. It seems a shame for people to feel that a simple flag can be a racist symbol or have unpleasant connotations although I feel conflicted about the British flag with it's colonial-era connections, but times change and so should we with them.

Anyway, in conclusion I felt the program confirmed something that I used to believe and have wanted to believe again about this country but it did it by ignoring some harsh realities that mustn't be skirted over or swept under anything. I'd like to see some more in-depth and balanced investigation into this 'issue' in the future...but hey that's just my virtual two pence! What do I know?!?

We seem to have...

...an eternal desire for explanations. We want to know the truth, the absolute truth and nothing but the absolute truth! I am struck with amusement by the paradox of so dearly wanting and seeking such an explanation and simply not being able to arrive at one but not for want of trying and oh we try! Science is without doubt the most efficient method we have of determining truth (that I'm aware of at least) and it is merely a gradual process of uncovering the truth by exploring everything diligently and revising and challenging what we think we know. The question is, will we ever arrive at an absolute truth other than that of demise? Maybe that's all there is!

Writing...

...for writing's sake. I don't know what to write about because I'm waiting for inspiration. Have I got a flawed idea about how these things works? Is inspiration something that just genuinely pops out of nowhere or is it a result of honing a skill so that it comes more often than not? I feel like I sit around waiting for inspiration to just fall upon me...but I don't think it works like that. That's just laziness. One has to practice and accept the shit that comes out because sometimes floating around in the masses of rubbish, you can find a gem.

At the symbolic heart of a human is some kind of creative source, some unnameable essence that is somehow pure and infinite. I know that sounds abstract and suspiciously new-age (if you knew me you'd know that that is not that suspicious) but really I'm just talking about the feelings of inspiration and joy and how when one is firmly rooted within them, there are no words, quantitative or qualitative enough to truly describe and share that experience. It's so subjective and yet so easily shared and commonly understood at an intuitive level. All these words, concepts and ideas serve the purpose of intellectuality, perhaps positively for the purpose of education but simultaneously can be divisive and move us away from that natural centre of living consciously and in the moment.

Do you believe...

...that there can be world peace one day? I do. Do you believe that there can be a greater amount of equality and justice for all people one day? I do. Do you believe that we can live in a better state of harmony with the environment? I do. Do you believe that we can eventually dissolve abitrary notions of nationalistic personal identity and recognise our common human identity and global family? I'm not so sure but I hope so.

On practicing...

...patience. I was in the shop the other day, queuing patiently to pay for a lottery ticket but with a small sense of urgency about getting back to work to have lunch. There was a blind lady a couple of people in front of me who naturally was taking a bit longer to be 'processed' than one would have liked. So, I did the mindful thing and noticed my own growing impatience and recognised it as being my own and not caused by the blind lady, so I whipped out my smart phone to appease my impatience. Is this really practicing patience? Or is it encouraging distraction? We live in a world with increasing amounts of distraction everywhere, our minds are conditioned to work at high speeds to cope with the fast moving data-obsessed nature of our jobs and the entertainment 'industry'(speaking very generally). Perhaps I should have just stayed with my impatience and questioned it, and analysed it further. My first thought was "this is an opportunity to practice patience", my next thought was "I'll get my phone out", so I don't know who much I really practiced being patient.

Skip forward to this morning, when I was in the shower while my phone alarm was going off. At this point, there was nothing I could do to switch it off, because well, I was in the shower. Shower + Phone = Broken Phone. So, again here was an opportunity to practice patience, a pretty persistent one at that, as is the nature of an alarm. It's very name provokes a sense of immediacy and not something that is easily ignored. At first I could recognise the growing impatience, and I recognised the subsequent 'thought reactions' to it, some of which were a little bit angry; I think the word 'idiot' came to mind but I persevered with it and allowed the alarm to continue and not annoy me until I was able to comfortably ignore it, again by distraction but this time merely by my own idle shower-thoughts!

And...

...it's been ages, again! Dammit! Oh well...I guess this post can be about the pitfalls of apathy, laziness and procrastination. All of which, ultimately led to this, so there is light at the end of the tunnel! Just not very productive or prolific light...

I used to love writing, and I think I still do, or at least, I love the idea of writing. I don't know what it is specifically that has led to such a huge block with my writing. Any ideas? As if anyone even reads this (apart from me and my best friend occasionally)...

"Life's a bitch and then ya die, that's why we get high, cos you never know when you're gonna go" so said a rapper once. That mentality is rather destructive to any sense of forward thinking or security but perhaps it's bleakness and cynicism is a self-preservation thing; don't raise your expectations, and you won't be disappointed.

I say in response, fuck that! Raise your expectations, and when they're repeatedly not met, keep picking yourself up and try again. If you never reach them, at least you've tried and you surely will have learnt something useful along the way...in theory.

I'm really saying that to myself...

Reasons and Riots...

I thought I'd attempt to put together a list of some of the contributing factors and causes behind the London riots. This is not in any particular order and just from a laymans perspective:
- a sociopathic mentality towards society
- an excitement in criminal activity
- increased desensitivity to violence
- lack of connection with immediate communities
- isolation from mainstream society and the benefits of economic success
- ever increasing wealth gap as a direct result of reckless capitalism
- the death of a man from an african-carribean community with a history of tension involving the metropolitan police in nothing short of mysterious circumstances, seemingly unprovoked, followed by some incompetence and delay with handling the release of information regarding the incident (again)
- summer holidays
- a decline in parenting standards in the united kingdom
- a decline in educational standards in the united kingdom
- increases in gang-related violence leading to fractures within communities
- increased level of distrust and tension with the police
- backdrop of huge global and national economic crisis
- influential nature of gang/crime culture and the fact that it's now intertwined with certain elements of popular culture such as music, film, etc
- social networking
- race
- gulf between those in power (at the top) and those with virtually none(at the bottom)
- feelings of helplessness and ostracization
- political corruption
- drugs
- cheese
- a void in basic values and any sense of human solidarity

That's probably just a small fraction of everything...interested to know an experts lowdown.

Over a year...

...since my last post on this blog, not good. But at least I'm doing something now. Today is the much anticipated (for many, not me!) Royal wedding. I've felt my usual kind of annoyed nonchalance at the whole thing but am feeling less angry about it than I would have thought or certainly would have been if this was five years ago.

Ultimately, why would I want to say or do anything that messes with anyone else's happiness? Sure I've made a few jokes and said some nasty things, but much less than I would have done in the past so that's progress for me and I actually feel kind of bad for having negativity towards it.

Having grown up with leftist, anti-royalist sentiments in my life didn't make me sympathetic or enthusiastic about the royal family, and while I still don't feel either of those two things towards them, I don't wish them or their many many supporters any harm or ill-will. Wow, either I'm getting older and nicer or just more Buddhist. The latter I think...